No toys in trash bags! 8 tips for teaching your children about the importance of giving

After commemorative dates in which children usually receive many gifts, it is common for families, schools and associations to organize themselves to gather donations and share part of what was received. But how can we approach the subject with children without accentuating the discourse of inequality?

“Many of us were raised viewing donation as the movement of giving to others what is left over, which no longer serves us. Of course, any form of donation is valid, but it is important that we take advantage of this opportunity to teach children about empathy, about their role in a strong society, to which each of them belongs”, says Carola Matarazzo, president of Movimento Bem Maior, which works to promote philanthropy in Brazil.

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Since last year, Brazil has been among the countries that promote Dia de Doar Kids, an international movement that was born in the United States in 2014, as the children's aspect of Dia de Doar, or Giving Tuesday, in English - which It has existed since 2012 in the USA and since 2013 in Brazil. Today there are 72 countries officially participating, and actions are being carried out in more than 190. The day is celebrated on December 1st, but behind it is a complete platform of tips and inspirations to teach little ones about giving all year long.

“We live in a society with many excesses, which accumulates too many things. This movement reminds us that, by sharing, by distributing, everyone wins. From this we believe that a happier, less violent society with less poverty is possible. This is where we aim,” says Marina Pechlivanis, creator of the Dia de Doar Kids platform and founding partner of Umbigo do Mundo.

+ Bianca Rinaldi's twins cut their hair to make a donation

The platform has activities for the 4 axes considered by Marina as fundamental to reaching children in an integral way: the family, the child themselves, the school and society. “We have testimonials from inspiring young people and children, lessons, for example, on the economy of generosity, the Donating Day dance, ready-made classes for teachers to work on the topic in their classrooms, in short... It's a very complete platform, completely free, and which offers many tools to plant the seed of solidarity in little ones”, he explains. “We understand that any effort to raise awareness of the importance of donating, among adults, would be enhanced if we spoke to children. It is from this sense of involvement that we will awaken this awareness in children, from an early age.”

But where to start? CRESCER asked Carola Matarazzo and Marina Pechlivanis for tips on how to make solidarity a routine in family life. See below 8 steps suggested by experts:

1- Teach by example

The younger your child is, the harder it will be to explain social inequality and our role in helping to combat it. But our example as parents is a great start to planting the seeds of this transformation. “How do you treat your home employee? How do you look at the son of your collaborator? How do you look at a disabled neighbor? Educating by example is the first and perhaps most precious step to teaching that no one is better than anyone else, despite any differences”, says Carola.

“As parents, we don’t always feel prepared to be an example for our children. And everything is fine. Parents who research, who look for ways to familiarize themselves with the subject and then teach it are parents who end up being transformed by their children. They change their attitude to inspire their children, and this mirroring is wonderful”, argues Marina.

2 – Donate what you have

Break the paradigm that you need to have a lot of money to be a donor. We can, of course, donate objects, toys, clothes, but also our time, knowledge and even our attention.  

“To help you just have to exist and want to. We don’t just need to donate objects. We have a group of children who went to a nursing home and donated poetry they had written. It was very exciting. And it is important that children understand from a young age that they do not need to have money to donate. Donate the best you have”, says Marina.

3 - The choice of words matters

Instead of telling our children, for example, that we need to donate toys to children who have nothing to play with, we can choose words that help promote empathy rather than inequality. “The ideal is not to create a speech about donating what is left over or what you no longer want. You can take a child's clothes that no longer fit and make them think: who could want or need that clothes? This is a great way to teach your child to welcome, to see others, to listen to others”, explains Carola.

4 – Make donations a gift

No sorting out broken toys or clothes in poor condition. Lead your child to think about sharing things that he no longer uses, but that can be fun or useful to other children. And another valuable tip: when separating donations, avoid placing objects in garbage bags. "Using garbage bags sends the message that it is like garbage, which should be discarded. Ideally, donations sound like gifts to the other person."

5 - Involve them in the donation process

After teaching children about sharing what we no longer use, another interesting step is to involve the child in the entire donation process. This includes researching together, for example, a daycare center or an institution in your neighborhood that may need the donation, or even entities with which the child can create a bond.

"Understanding where the resource goes, choosing, monitoring, seeing if it was used well... All of this makes us enjoy donating. Delivering a package and seeing the smile it causes is moving. It's important to have this sense: the What happens to you when you make this gesture? Do you feel good? Doing good for others is also good for us. This goes beyond bagging unused things", says Marina.

6 - Training to look at things that are different

When going out with your children, teach them to look around and see the differences between people, as well as their needs. Here, we are not just talking about donation, but about the development of citizenship.

“It is very valuable to walk around the neighborhood, for example, and think: How can I help this person? Learning to look at the needs of others makes us aware of inequality, the lack of inclusion, the differences in opportunities. And you don't need money for that. Sometimes the other's needs are an invitation to a snack for a child who is alone during break time", recalls Carola.

7 - Donating is also financial education

Donating can (and should) also be part of children's financial education. For older children, it is possible, for example, to teach them how to set aside part of their allowance for sharing. For younger children, Marina suggests a “piggy bank to make a difference”. “We can create the habit of a piggy bank that is not for the child, it is a piggy bank to make a difference for someone else. This way the child pools resources for a period of time to decide who they want to help, and how.”

8 – Appreciate small kindnesses

In addition to donations, it is very important to encourage small kindnesses in children, such as thanking people with cards or drawings made by them, or a cake, made at home, with the help of their parents.

“When you learn to be kind, to do something to thank someone with your own hands, you create a fundamental sense of gratitude in a society of exacerbated consumption. This way we teach children about valuable exchange relationships, with simple gestures, but full of truth, because we do not exist without each other, and knowing how to value others is very important”, concludes Marina.